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Morning News

focus-ratings-mornoing newsGood morning...

I'd like to thank all of you who contacted me to say that Wednesday's results from Sha Tin weren't as bad as I thought...

On reflection it wasn't so bad after all; I think that I was expecting more - perhaps I'm being too greedy.

Also, Fortune Happiness was a non-runner and that was my sure fire winner.

However, I made a mistake; I was looking at the results coming in on the Hong Kong Jockey Club website and they had Fortune Happiness marked as coming in in last place. The saddlecloth number was highlighted in a different colour and I didn't know that that means it was a non-runner.

Thus, I thought that the one horse that I had highlighted as our best hope came last - a bit embarrassing - when, if fact, it was a non-runner.

So, 2 top rated winners from the 7 remaining races (a 28.6% strike rate) with prices (dependent on who you bet with) of 12/1 and 8/1.

I was very interested to see that some of you have already worked out strategies to benefit from Compass Ratings; I am working on some strategies which I hope to publish over the weekend.

Sunday's Compass Ratings for the 10 races at Sha Tin on Sunday should be available for you first thing tomorrow.

Something to make you smile...

Circus

A husband and wife who work for the circus go to an adoption agency looking to adopt a child, but the social workers there raise doubts about their suitability.

So the couple produce photos of their 50-foot motor home, which is clean and well maintained and equipped with a beautiful nursery.

The social workers are satisfied by this but then raise concerns about the kind of education a child would receive while in the couple’s care.

The husband puts their mind at ease, saying, “We’ve arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach the child all the usual subjects along with French, Mandarin, and computer skills.”

Next though, the social workers express concern about a child being raised in a circus environment.

This time the wife explains, “Our nanny is a certified expert in pediatric care, welfare, and diet.”

The social workers are finally satisfied and ask the couple, “What age child are you hoping to adopt?”

The husband says, “It doesn’t really matter, as long as the kid fits in the cannon.”


American Businessman

An American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked.

Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna.

The American complimented the fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The fisherman replied that it only took a little while.

The American then asked why didn't he stay out longer and catch more fish.

The fisherman said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs.

The American then asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

The fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, señor."

The American scoffed. "I am a Wharton MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats. Eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then L.A., and eventually New York City, where you will run your expanding enterprise."

The fisherman asked, "But how long will this all take?"

To which the American replied, "Fifteen or 20 years."

"But what then?"

The American laughed and said, "That's the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions."

"Millions? Then what?"

The American said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your friends."


How Aliens Have Sex

The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating enough frequent flier miles. They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things.

Mike asks if Mars has a stock-market, if they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc. Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex. “Just how do you guys do it?” asks Maureen.

“Pretty much the way you do,” responds the Martian.

Discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for the night and experience one another. Maureen and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips. He’s got only a teeny, weeny member about half an inch long and just a quarter inch thick.

I don’t think this is going to work,” says Maureen. “Why?” he asks, “What’s the matter?” “Well,” she replies, “It’s just not long enough to reach me!”

“No problem,” he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead with his palm. With each slap of his forehead, his member grows until it’s quite impressively long.

“Well,” she says, “That’s quite impressive, but it’s still pretty narrow…”

“No problem,” he says, and starts pulling his ears. With each pull, his member grows wider and wider until the entire measurement is extremely exciting to the woman.

“Wow!” she exclaims, as they fell into bed and made mad, passionate love.

The next day the couples rejoin their normal partners and go their separate ways. As they walk along, Mike asks “Well, was it any good?” “I hate to say it,” says Maureen, “but it was pretty wonderful. How about you?”

“It was horrible,” he replies. “All I got was a headache. All she kept doing the whole time was slapping my forehead and pulling my ears.”


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Today

I hope that you are not going too stir crazy and re staying healthy and safe.

As always...

My kindest regards

keith-eckstein1

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