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Morning News

focus-ratings-mornoing newsGood morning...

A quick look at the ratings for tomorrow morning's meeting at Sha Tin show three races (out of ten) that are of interest to me...

6:45am - The top rated horse (Ka Ying Star) has a CPR of 2.44 and, more importantly, has a CPR of about 28% greater than the second rated horse.

9:10am - Our top rated horse, Hot King Prawn, has a CPR of 2.62 - historically, top rated horses with a CPR of 2.6 to 2.69 have a 36.36% strike rate and return a 110% profit on stakes.

10:50am - Our top rated horse (Beauty Day) has a CPR of 2.10 and has a CPR 40% greater than that of the second rated horse.

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The link to Sunday's Compass Ratings for Sha Tin (top three rated horses) is here... Compass Ratings-2020-04-05.pdf

The link to Sunday's Compass Ratings (full) for Sha Tin is here... Compass Ratings-Full-2020-04-05.pdf

Something to make you smile...

A guy Walks Into a Bar With an Ostrich...

A man walks Into a bar with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks for their orders.

The man says, “A hamburger, fries and a beer,” and turns to the ostrich, “What’s yours?”

“I’ll have the same,” says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. “That will be $18.95 please,” and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, “A hamburger, fries, and a beer.” The ostrich says, “I’ll have the same.”

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until, the two enter again.

“The usual?” asks the waitress. “No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato, and a shot of Tequila,” says the man. “Same,” says the ostrich.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, “That will be $20.” Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress can’t hold back her curiosity any longer. “Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?”

“Well,” says the man, “several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.”

Awesome says the waitress. “Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!”

“That’s right. Whether it’s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,” says the man.

The waitress asks, “But, sir, what’s with the ostrich?”

The man sighs, pauses, and answers, “My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say.”


Plastic Bags...

One day, an old woman was walking with two big plastic bags.

One of the bags had a small tear, and £20 notes kept on falling from the bag.

A policeman saw this and he stopped her.

Policeman: Madam, you are dropping £20 notes

Old lady: Oh thank you so much, sir. ( Starts picking up the bills )

Policeman: Btw, where did you get all of this money? Did you steal?

Old lady: Well, it's a long story. You see, what happened was, my house is next to a golf course. There is a hole on my fence. People keep coming and they pee in my garden from the hole.

One day, I thought why not take this opportunity to make some money? So when they start pissing, I grab their penis and tell them to give me a £20 note or I will chop it off!

This is how I earned these £20 notes, officer.

Policeman: Good to know. By the way, what's in the other bag?

Old lady: Well not all of them pay.


Railway Woman

A social misfit walks into his local bar with a big grin on his face.

"What are you so happy about?" asks the barman.

"Well I’ll tell you," replies the ugly guy. "You know I live by the railway, well on my way home last night I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks, like in the movies.

I, of course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, I scored big time! We made love all night, all over the house. We did everything, me on top sometimes, her on top!"

"Fantastic," exclaimed the barman. "You lucky bastard. Was she pretty?"

"I dunno, I never found her head."


dumpaday-funny-pictures-new-25

Today

Whatever you are up to today...

Have a great day and stay safe and healthy.

As always...

My kindest regards

keith-eckstein1

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