Focus Ratings is a Uk and Irish Horse Racing ratings service designed to aid you and help you narrow the field so that you can concentrate on the real contenders. Our completely computerised analysis system selects the top three rated horses from each race and sends out the ratings every day at 10:00 a.m.  Wonderful results and an excellent strike rate.  Use Focus Ratings to win more money and make more profits from British and Irish Horse Racing.  The only horse racing system you'll ever need.

Late News…

carDon't worry, nothing to do with the ratings or even, horse racing but.... A bit too late for the Morning News, David O. sent in a joke that I just had to pass on. So, if you lost your children's inheritance yesterday (or are planning to do so today)... Have a read of this and, if it doesn't make you chuckle, Nothing will!

You have to laugh…

Seniors Banking... Shown below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 86 year old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the Times. Dear Sir: I am writing to thank you for bouncing my cheque with which I endeavoured to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the cheque and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honour it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years.

Jokes…

Jokes!

So... Terry noticed that we have a Jokes section on this site? And he offered a joke of his own. Now, the only reason that we have a joke section on the site is... For those days when.... Kauto Star and Frankel are racing in a 3 horse race and... The other horse... Dennis the Donkey is the 1000/1 outsider. Anyway, by the 8th furlong, Kauto Star and Frankel are about 1 mile ahead of Dennis the Donkey... So they slow down to have a chat! And, they're so busy swapping tales about which famous jockey has sat on their back and... How much prize money they've earned.. That, they totally failed to notice that Dennis the Donkey has hobbled past them and... Gone on to win the race? In other words... The Jokes Section is only here for those days when the top rated horse comes last, the 1000/1 outsider wins and... You wonder why you're paying £10 a month for ratings where that can happen?

You have to laugh…

Polo... The trainer was giving last minute instructions to the jockey... And appeared to slip something into the horse's mouth just as a steward walked by. "What was that?" inquired the steward. "Oh nothing" said the trainer... "Just a polo." He offered one to the steward and had one himself. After the suspicious steward had left the scene the trainer continued with his...

You have to laugh…

Cricket... A horse was looking over a fence watching a game of cricket. "Any chance of a game?" he asked the captain. At first the captain was taken aback by the talking horse, but when it insisted it was keen to play the skipper thought it might be a bit of a laugh if he sent the horse out as opening bat. The horse shaped up to the first ball and slammed it over the boundary for...

You have to laugh…

Ascot... 1). I'd studied the form at Ascot and confidently walked up to the bookmaker with my money in my hand. "Forty pounds on Fame and Glory in the Gold Cup," I said. "This is your first time at Ladies' Day isn't it?" he asked. "Er...yeah. Why?" "Because it's usually just the women who wear a fancy dress and big hat." 2). After a winning day at Ascot racecourse.... Martin Pipe,...

You have to laugh…

Mechanic... A man's car stalls on a country road. When he gets out to fix it, a horse in the nearby field comes up along side the fence and leans over by him. "Your trouble is probably in the carburettor,"... Says the horse. Startled, the man jumps back and runs down the road until he meets a farmer. He tells the farmer his story. "Was it a large white horse with a black mark over...

You have to laugh…

Obsessive Gambling My wife has left me tonight taking my fours kids with her. She's fucked off to her moms citing my.... "Obsessive gambling" as her reason. Obsessive gambling! What the fuck does she know! 10/1 - She's back tomorrow 5/1 - She talks to me before I talk to her 2/1 - Her mom calls me up tomorrow night telling me I need to treat her better Evens - She ends up telling me...

You have to laugh….

Little Johnny Little Johnny likes to gamble. One day his dad gets a new job so his family has to move to a new city. Johnny's daddy thinks, "I'll get a head start on Johnny's gambling." So he calls the teacher and says, "My son Johnny will be starting your class tomorrow but he likes to gamble so you'll have to keep an eye on him." The teacher says OK, she can handle it. The next...

You have to laugh…

The Vicar The vicar wanted to raise money for his church and, being told there were fortunes in race horses, he decided to purchase one and enter it in the races. However, at the local auction, the going price for horses was so steep he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races, and to his surprise the donkey...

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